Growing Girls With Purpose

There’s an atrocious story in The Economist about how the worldwide gendercide rate is rising at an alarming rate.

I’ll give you one guess which gender suffers from mass-extermination.

In some areas there are 130 baby boys to 100 baby girls being born. The culprit? Utrasounds and abortions have given parents the technology to choose whether they have a valuable boy or an expensive girl. Culture and tradition still hold that boys are better. Some laws, as in China, prohibit large families (you can’t waste your one allotted child on a girl). Economic suppression of women around the world hold that men are more valuable as bread-winners (because women are restricted from the earning of bread) and as retirement security for their parents. Boys are valuable, girls are costly.

Why should you care?

China alone stands to have as many unmarried young men—“bare branches”, as they are known—as the entire population of young men in America. In any country rootless young males spell trouble; in Asian societies, where marriage and children are the recognized routes into society, single men are almost like outlaws. Crime rates, bride trafficking, sexual violence, even female suicide rates are all rising and will rise further as the lopsided generations reach their maturity,” the article states.

In 1990 it was estimated that over 100 million girls are dead. The toll is millions higher now.

Only one country has managed to change this pattern. In the 1990s South Korea had a sex ratio almost as skewed as China’s. Now, it is heading towards normality. It has achieved this not deliberately, but because the culture changed. Female education, anti-discrimination suits and equal-rights rulings made son preference seem old-fashioned and unnecessary. The forces of modernity first exacerbated prejudice—then overwhelmed it, states the article.

Think about the 100 million dead baby girls next time you hear Glenn Beck promise that equality and the pursuit of equal and economic justice will cost you your “freedom.”

Equality is a matter of International Security. Make no mistake about it. A world ruled by single men will self-destruct in a violent ball of testosterone-fueled fury, led by the same power-crazed idiots that were deluded enough to call discrimination “freedom.”

Go read the full story in The Economist.

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I just finished Going Rogue: An American Life by Sarah Palin, former Governor of Alaska and 2008 Republican Vice Presidential candidate.

I’m going out on a limb and asking readers to put aside their political venom to discuss the merging and blending of mothering and working.

Take a deep breath. This isn’t a post about abortion. It’s not a post about Bristol or teen pregnancy. This post doesn’t discuss energy, ANWAR, death panels or the health care bill.

For the duration of this post, if it’s humanly possible, put aside your opinions and positions and accept my invitation to look at Sarah Palin in the context of her ability to govern and mother simultaneously.

Sarah Palin is a bad-ass mom.

A quick-run down of what I consider bad-ass mothering: campaigning for mayor and city council door-to-door pulling a wagon full of toddlers, toting her children all over Alaska to campaign for Governor, giving birth while Governor, breast-feeding a Down Syndrome infant while on the campaign trail running for Vice President of The United States of America.

She didn’t strike a “balance” between work and motherhood – she cohesively merged her work and motherhood seamlessly. Doing so was to the benefit of her personal fulfillment, her children and her work.

She felt a calling for more than motherhood, didn’t see a conflict and just DID it. She didn’t wait for the historically patriarchal Republican Party’s permission. She just did it.

How did she do it? She did what mothers have always done throughout the history of mankind – she did what she needed to do and took her kids with her or found someone to watch them.

The youngest daughter Piper, one of the primary characters in the book, appears at her mother’s side at nearly every pivotal moment in Sarah’s political career. Piper might actually be the most empowered girl in America, next to Willow and Bristol. Like other children throughout the history of moms and kids, she tagged along behind or beside her mom. The only difference is that instead of cleaning the house and doing dishes, Piper’s mom campaigned, governed a city, then a state, and then ran for vice president. She made speeches, mingled with voters, went door-to-door, and posed for photos ops. She signed laws, dealt with reporters and balanced budgets.

The most beautiful thing about this book and Sarah Palin’s perspective is that there is no conflict at all between mothering and governing or mothering and working. She doesn’t even waste a single thought on it.

She does not apologize for having children, for bringing children on a campaign, for a baby crying in the background of a phone call, for a child’s presence at a press conference or a State dinner, for her child answering a reporter’s question, for her children being present at the signing of bills, at the governor’s office or even playing hide and seek in the halls while she hammers out a budget through the night.

Sarah is there, therefore, her children are there. Duh, of course they are.

Think about that for one second. Replay, in your own brain, the number of times you apologize for your children’s presence. Too loud in church, disruptive in a meeting, no babysitter for a social function, working from home due to ear infections . . . and on and on. Think of all the guilt you’ve wasted over it.

She doesn’t talk about the stress of it either. Mothering is a pleasure. Governing is a privilege. She loves doing both. She has passion for both roles and finds them fulfilling. Why would she surrender one to an outdated traditional expectation?

She also does not apologize for leaving her children to pursue objectives child-free. She went to a hotel in California, leaving her family for a few weeks for some precious peace and quiet to work on her book. During the Vice Presidential race of 2008, she campaigned away from her children on weekdays so they could continue going to school in Alaska. Her husband, Todd, their parents, their extended family, close family friends, her children’s friends and parents and a hired babysitter all pitch in to make sure family life keeps trekking along while she’s away. Of course they do. It made me think, “wait, why are we making this so hard?”

She didn’t quit when her family life got complicated. It got pretty complicated when she had an unplanned pregnancy while Governor of Alaska, then found out the baby boy had Down Syndrome. It was further complicated when, a month after giving birth to Trig, her teenage daughter, Bristol, confessed she was pregnant. Her oldest son had joined the military and gone to Iraq and could die at any moment. Any normal family would have a very difficult time adjusting to those circumstances. Before any adjusting could happen, Sarah Palin was asked to run for Vice President and hit the campaign trail. And she did it. Come on, I know women who have an emotional breakdown and take a sick day when they get their period every month.

There is a vital difference between her life and most working women’s lives: Sarah Palin is the boss.

She has no boss telling her its inappropriate to bring her kids to work, inappropriate to campaign pulling a wagon full of toddlers behind her as she talks to voters door-to-door. She has no human resources department counting her sick days and no one telling her she can or can’t be home at 3:00 to greet her kids after school. There is no one telling her she can’t work from her kitchen table when she needs to. No one telling her it’s unprofessional to bring children to a budget meeting or a major speech.

Some of us bang our heads against the brick wall of the patriarchal work-day establishment asking for maternity leave, paid sick days, family medical leave – talking to employers and trying to convince human resource departments of our worthiness as mothers and workers, and arguing over legislation, trying to convince politicians to support family medical leave and a flexible workday – and raging against the fact that our available choices all suck (I mean Me here).

Sarah Palin went around the brick walls. She just believed such nonsense didn’t apply to her. So it didn’t. I’m fairly certain it won’t apply to her daughters either.

Photos from (but not in this order) Positives in Politics, ivstatic, Kansans for Life, NY Daily News,  Telegraph.

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We stood alone on Bob Sandlin Bridge for International Women’s Day, but we stood. We stood steady and strong in the wind and rain.

We stood for Bora Tabu M’Kabonge, born in 1981, divorced mother of 3 in the Democratic Republic of The Congo. We sponsor her through Women for Women International, her life is made infinitely better for $27 a month.

Check out the wonderful and moving Flickr site for photos of over 100 Bridge events around the world!

If you couldn’t make it to meet us at the bridge yesterday, consider sponsoring a woman and her family through Women for Women International.

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Today is International Women’s Day.

The Girl Revolution stands in solidarity with all thinking humans around the world for all females’ inherent and innate rights of social, economic, spiritual and political power, autonomy and equity.

The Girl Revolution stands in solidarity with all thinking humans against sex trafficking, virgin worship and honor killings, violence against women and girls, rape in all its many forms, medical neglect, maternal death, lack of reproductive medical care, all forms of slavery, and all economic and political forms of oppression, suppression and control of women and girls, including spiritual exploitation and domination, including coverture.

Meet Me on the Bridge to Bob Sandlin Lake, FM 21 off HWY 11, at 4:30 pm today, March 8, 2010.

We’ll stand in solidarity for these good, righteous and holy birthrights together. We stand up for the worldwide respect of Authentic Femininity.

Sign up for Women for Women International and for $27 a month you can give a woman her economic independence.

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Statistics from Respect RX:

• 1 in every 2 females worldwide has been abused during her lifetime.
• 50% of teens in serious relationships say they’ve gone against their beliefs to please their partner, including going further sexually than they wanted.
• 1 in 5 teens who’ve been in a serious relationship report being hit, slapped or pushed by a partner.
• 3 out of 10 teen girls become pregnant.
• 1 in 3 students drop out of high school.
• 4 in 10 teen boys have a criminal record.

Simply unacceptable. Don’t accept it. Change it.

Respect RX coaches teen girls and guys, adults and advocates to boost self-respect, relationship respect and respect for all.

Teen leaders, parents, church leaders, and schools can order a new Respect RX Kit for $225.

What you get is a fully design 6 to 18 week program (adjustable) which teaches teens to:

• use the Respect Basics to build self-respect and make healthy choices
• value themselves
• follow their passions
• set boundaries and speak up
• listen to their gut and compassionately listen to others
• create relationships based on mutual respect
• get help dealing with disrespect dilemmas, such as peer pressure, dating and domestic violence, bullying, negative body image, the “-isms” and other tough issues
• lead social change to create a better world where all people are respected

After completing just four sessions of our program, teens report notable outcomes:

• 98% of 500 teens surveyed understood the difference between respect and disrespect (up from 51% prior to the program)
• 90% of teens respected each other as equals (up from 65%)
• 82% felt equipped to make positive choices and act as role models (up from 42%)
• 94% said they feel more comfortable setting boundaries and speaking up (up from 70%)
• 81% said they will get help when they were disrespected or to achieve their goals (up from 42%)

Order your Respect RX Kit here.

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