Entries from October 2007 ↓

Pornification of Halloween

by Tracee Sioux

Halloween has become S-E-X-Y. But, then so has innocence. If you deconstruct these costumes what about them becomes inappropriate? The pose? The make-up? The quantity of clothing?

I think it’s the porn-star quality. Let’s face it this photograph from a Newsweek article, titled Eye Candy, about how sexy girls’ costumes have become.

I wouldn’t describe it as sexy so much as it’s quite simply a porn fantasy.

The titles of the costumes speak to pornification as well “Wayward Witch? You mean, the witch fantasy from porn? “Mis-Behaved” as in the title of a porno flick about a women’s prison?

Is this commentary on our daughters or how sexualized girls have become? Maybe.

More likely, it’s a symptom of how the porn industry has seeped so deeply into our cultural psyche that it no longer seems out of place to strip children of innocence. You’re looking at the normalization of what was once considered deviant sexual fantasy (pedophilia) – it’s just become normalized.

The scary part is – parents and girls are participating.

And it’s almost impossible not to participate in some way. The fact is that virtually all girlness has become pornified. When deciding what the boundaries are for my own daughter I find them to be vague.

Do I outlaw the Dancing with the Stars oversized-sequined dress? What about the pumpkin leotard? Too much leg? A little too much make-up and she’s JonBenet Ramsey. A tear in the dress and she’s a street walker. Some midriff makes us think of a stripper. The heals? Is that what tips a dress over the edge into rap video territory?

Which then leads to the truth – it’s not in my power to reverse the pornification of girlness. And really, it’s not my daughter’s job to make pervs and pedophiles and judgmental mothers look at her in an a-sexual way. That responsibility lies with them.

To criminalize what Lolita wears for Halloween – isn’t that just more blaming the girl for thoughts and impulses originating with Humbert Humbert? Which, in fact, is entirely out of our control? And isn’t this whole problem Vladimir Nabokov’s fault for introducing child pornography into mainstream literature with the release of Lolita in 1955?

Of course, to be a good mother I carefully walk the line with a strict monitoring of the outfit, hair and make-up. It’s vicious out there – but, mostly I’m not so afraid of what perverts will think – cause really they have the Internet and a club now (Nambla) and their thinking is already permanently f*ed up. I’m most worried about the judgement of other mothers whispering, I can’t believe she let her daughter leave the house in that!

And yes, at last night’s Halloween Trunk or Treat I did hear a Who lets their daughter come dressed as a hooker? and I also heard a Look there’s JonBenet.

Unfortunately, I heard those things come right out the mouths of my husband and myself.

I didn’t hear a single criticism of what a boy had chosen to wear for Halloween. They could have shown up in their underwear and no one would have been the least bit offended. This is a real double standard folks.

My friend Violet thinks perhaps after all those years of sexual repression Halloween has emerged to allow women to let out their inner-Harlot. I whole-heartedly agree with about adult women. I’ve certainly had to de-slutify my own costumes since mothering a daughter.

But, little girls – it’s such a tight rope of acceptability they walk.

Oh, what did we wear? We had settled on a satirical costume as matching Dairy Queens, 1st Runner Up and Second Place. But, halfway out the door Ainsley stripped off her homemade beauty queen sash and declared herself a Princess.

Of course I let her – it is Halloween. Isn’t the fun of it just being that which is forbidden?

Related Articles:

Fan The Girl Revolution on Facebook.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Self Portrait of a Housewife

This is a self portrait of a 1950s housewife. What do you see?

Thank You to my friend Cindy for allowing me to print her mother’s work.

Related Articles:

Fan The Girl Revolution on Facebook.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Birth Certificate Blanks

Guess whose name is not on Zack’s birth certificate?

Mine.

In New York, after Ainsley’s birth, when I filled out the form I noticed there was only one blank for Mother’s Maiden Name, so I had the presence of mind to put my current legal name in the blank. (If you’ll recall I legally changed my name to Sioux after a brief early marriage ended.)

However, in Texas, after Zack’s birth there was a blank that said Mother’s Legal Name. There was also a blank that said Mother’s Maiden Name. I asked the records lady to clarify and she was unable. I assumed the birth certificate in Texas would include a space for my legal name and my maiden name.

Wrong.

I was sent a form inviting me to correct any mistakes and only my birth name appeared. No where on the document was my current legal name. I corrected the mistake, writing my current name in the maiden name field, and sent it back.

The hospital refused to make the correction. When I spoke to a records lady, I mentioned that perhaps the form was misleading and outdated, she became so angry that she slammed down the phone.

Now I have a birth certificate where my son’s name is listed. My husband’s is listed. But, mine is no where on it. If you look at my daughter’s birth certificate and my sons, it appears they have two different mothers.

I have to appeal to our state capitol to have the name changed on my son’s birth certificate now. Which involves filing court documents and getting forms witnessed and paying a fee.

I’m still not to the point where I can deal with it without anger. So, it doesn’t seem unlikely that he will turn 2 without having an accurate mother’s name on his birth certificate.

Surely, in this day and age, I am not the only mother who’s upset about the way her identity on her children’s birth certificate is documented?

The assumption of anyone looking at it is that my current name is that of my husband’s and children’s. I’m not judging anyone whose legal name is one shared with a husband, but that’s just not my name.

Name = Identity

Related Articles:

Fan The Girl Revolution on Facebook.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Sharks v. Happy Feet

By Tracee Sioux

Good Job! You can do it! Get that ball! You’re not afraid of her.

Good try. It’s alright. It’s okay to lose sometimes. I saw you run really hard after that ball.

Did you try hard and have fun? That’s what’s important! I’m so proud of you.

———————————————————————————-

Attack! Attack!

Watch the ball.

Get in there and get the ball!

Attack! Attack! Attack!

Take a wild guess which dialogue is coming from the girls’ coach and which is coming from the boys’ coach.

There is plenty of evidence that five-year-old boys and girls have equal athletic abilities. Yet, the differences between these two soccer teams are startling.

Practice twice a week for boys, once a week for girls.

Encouraged to practice an hour per day for boys (by both parents and coach), no extra practice encouraged for girls.

Team names: Sharks for boys, Happy Feet for girls.

Focus on trying hard and having fun for girls, focus on winning for boys.

What do you think the consequences of these differences are?

Related Articles:

Fan The Girl Revolution on Facebook.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend

Fashion Police (I mean, Policy)

This is what Ainsley wore to school yesterday.

If you don’t get up right now I’m picking your clothes, I tell her. She leaps out of bed every time.

What’s your fashion policy?

Related Articles:

Fan The Girl Revolution on Facebook.

SocialTwist Tell-a-Friend