Entries from April 2008 ↓

Perhaps you noticed that your daughter has both a vagina and a uterus when she was born?

Oddly, this causes discomfort in some parents.

I admit to some discomfort in myself when I deal with rashes, itchy or irritation in the general area. As our daughters get older the issues surrounding their feminine organs and parts becomes more complicated. As far as parental discomfort regarding these reproductive issues – it’s time to get over it.

Jeanne Connor Dessert has suffered from endometriosis since she was a young teenager. She currently runs a support group for women with endometriosis and she has some fantastic advice to parents of daughters.

I’m 39 years old and my endometriosis symptoms began at age 13. I was not properly diagnosed, however, until the age of 23.I would like to make all parents of girls out there aware that endometriosis is a serious illness and that symptoms should not be overlooked, marginalized, or viewed as “in a girl’s head”.

Endometriosis is a very real illness that affects an estimated 80 million patients worldwide. Society has taught women and girls that menstrual pain is “normal”. It is not. Endo has a wide variety of symptoms. Cramps are just one of a great many. click on Endometriosis Association “what is it?” for a complete list of symptoms.

The important point I’d like to make is that if you think there’s any chance your daughter is having endo symptoms… I urge you to take it seriously, have her seen by a highly skilled gynecologist highly trained in recognizing and surgically removing endometriosis, and advocate for your daughter. This illness can cause pain (sometimes debilitating and disabling), infertility, less commonly it can cause bowel obstruction. The list goes on. Endo patients are also at an increased risk for ovarian cancer, melanoma, and breast cancer.

If you have endo in your family (which some people do have family history without even knowing it due to societal “taboos” regarding talking about reproductive organs and menstruation), then your daughter has a higher risk of developing endo. I urge parents to learn the basics about endo. If your daughter has it, you want to be proactive, have her see a properly qualified gynecologist, and not ignore her symptoms. Empower your girls to obtain appropriate health care and not be cast aside by a health care system that isn’t doing all it should for endo patients.

Also, the research dollars for endo have historically been far too limited and I do not think this is an accident. Since this illness affects women and girls, the research dollars are just not as available for it as they would be for an illness affecting both genders.

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I write the word Girl a lot on this blog.

Tragically, Google and Amazon’s robots interpret the word “girl” to be synonymous with “porn”. I’ve stopped using various advertising programs from both companies because of ads for buying a Mexican bride (Google), Girls Gone Wild videos (Amazon), and viewing photos of “young girls in thongs” (Google). Neither company offers a “family friendly” option they said when I wrote them.

How about an option that doesn’t sell half the population like a consumable product?

If we consume the half of the population that will also mother the population – where does that leave society?

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Parenting magazines should be renamed, 1,000 Ways to Accidentally Kill Your Kids.

During my first pregnancy and Ainsley’s babyhood I spent a great deal of time digesting all the information in parenting magazines and books.

This habit was a contributing factor to my post-partum depression.

Here’s the problem, in the exact same issue they include conflicting information and either way you’re screwed:

One article says you should make your child wash their hands 10 times throughout the day to prevent illness. If you’re making your kids wash their hands before bed, after high-fives and 8 other times during the day you’re making your kid and yourself neurotic.

Flip the page and there is a story on the surge in childhood diabetes. Researchers are looking at extreme cleanliness as an environmental cause.

Oh, you mean like washing their hands 10 times a day to prevent a cold? We’re trading a cold for diabetes?

We also have these gems:

* Checking to make sure there are no stray hairs around their fingers and toes every time you change them. Apparently one child in Canada almost lost a toe due to a hair being wrapped around it tightly.

* Getting early intervention services for autism – even if your doctor thinks he’s fine.

* Dark meat, turns out is good for kids. (Last year white was best.)

* No riding on ATVs because doctors have seen injuries.

* No more peanut butter cause other kids are allergic.

* The wrong size soccer cleats might cause your kid to lose a toenail.

* Daycare for the under 3 month baby prevents asthma. (Last week it caused RSV.)

* No amount of lead is okay now. Even if it’s not deadly, it will make them stupid. Go get another blood test and spend thousands figuring out where it’s coming from and getting your 1950s house treated. Forget that millions of people walking around the planet practically ate, breathed and bathed in the stuff and are just fine.

* Fat will give the heart disease in their 20s. 40% of fat kids’ parents think they’re normal, beware you might be one of them.

* Childproofing items are dangerous: outlet covers will choke them (chose between death by electricity or choking); bathtub safety seats caused drowning; wipes warmers start fires and electrocute people; seat belt positioners aren’t good, now 8-year-olds need booster seats; bed rails to prevent falling out could kill them; sleep positioning to prevent SIDS could suffocate them; Ipecac will prevent poisoning, but could kill them anyway; baby rear view mirrors might help you, but become a flying object to injure you in a crash, crib bumpers to prevent their heads getting stuck between slats will suffocate them.

When you read the statistics they have to justify their preventative advice it’s always like 18 kids in the last 20 years. Which, when you consider how many kids there are on the planet – millions – it isn’t really alarming enough to justify changing your lifestyle.

Now that you’re good and freaked about all the ways there are to kill/mame/or damage your children, turn the page and there’s an accusation that parents are too paranoidd to allow their boys to play freely, offering up too much supervision not enough free play and being weird about naturally aggressive wrestling/fighting play.

Gee, I wonder why parents are paranoid?

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Last night’s A New Earth Oprah and Eckhart Tolle Webcast was great. I would add a few more tangible suggestions that I’ve found helpful in overcoming the pain body issues.

Tapping, or Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), is the physical tapping and releasing emotional pain from our bodies through pressure points.

I spent over an hour directly addressing one of my own issues through tapping last week.

What was interesting about the experience was that when I dealt with one feeling surrounding my issue, I found another beneath it. Then another, then another, then another. First there was numbness, then anger, then guilt, then shame, then humiliation, then powerlessness, then shame again, then unworthiness, then fear – you get the picture. The issue turned out to be much more complex than I thought. It was like pressing rewind on my life and seeing how my feelings about one event led to another event and distorted the feelings around that.

Go to Tapping.com to watch many FREE tapping videos that address many emotions. Decide your done with these emotions and then get rid of them.

Ho’oponopono is the concept that you can heal any emotion in three steps: I’m Sorry, I Forgive You, I Love You. Simply thinking about a negative situation or feeling and picturing yourself, and who ever is in the memory with you, and repeating I’m sorry, I forgive you, I love you can release the hold it has on your life.

I’ll be on Body Wonders Radio, Inspiration for Transformation tonight discussing law of attraction with Jeff Howard. We’ll be talking about methods to release issues holding us back, like the pain body.

I’ve been participating in Jeff Howard’s 5 week course Attraction Mastery Teleseminar Series and I’ve been learning so much. It’s been so insightful, I’ve been listening to the recordings over and over.

So far I’ve learned about happiness from Marci Shimoff, author of Happy for No Reason and Chicken Soup for the Soul for Women, David Childerly, a leading tapping expert.

Next week, Joe Vitale, author of Zero Limits: The Secret Hawaiian System for Wealth, Health, Peace, and More teaching the ho’oponopono method will be on a live call with Jeff Howard on Wednesday night. He’s inviting people to listen to this interview free, just click here to register.

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I felt, after 6 years of free haircuts from NaNa, that $10 was an appropriate amount to spend for a first salon haircut.

After recently getting my own hair makeover, my daughter expressed an interest in getting hers cut “just like mine.”

Aware that a daughter’s desire to be “just like Mommy” is fleeting, I jumped at my chance.

I gave her highlights at home, while doing mine. (Of course, I wish mine had turned out as well as hers. The difference? I could see what I was doing on her hair. My own? I overbleached my bangs to a bad white, tried to cover it with a cotton candy pink, I had on hand from last year, that didn’t take. I had to wait till payday and color a solid brown and then bleach again.)

There is a story in the NY Times by Camille Sweeny about the trend for mothers to let their tweens get highlights. My friend Char from WearyParent is quoted.

Jezebel, of course, took issue with the fact that some children are being allowed to have highlights in a story titled, Bikini Waxes, Highlights & ‘Tramp Stamps’: That’s what little girls are made of.

I take issue with the fact that a feminist magazine uses the derogatory term “tramp stamp” in reference to women who get tattooed. Connecting a tattoo with a woman’s sexual promiscuity is like unto the old phrase, “she smokes, she pokes.”

I also think it’s a bit silly to equate hair color with a permanent tattoo. There is nothing permanent about hair, which makes it a harmless way to allow children, tweens and teens to experiment with their style, fashion or look and even rebellion. And the bikini wax – for starters, one is on their head which everyone sees and the other is . . . not. A bikini wax is also rather like torture, while a new hair color is, well – fun.

I allow Ainsley highlights for one reason only – because it’s fun.

Although I do agree with Jezebel, that the direct marketing to children by salons is messed up. I explain why I think so in this story, Girls For Sale.

Some of the hair professionals, in the NY Times story, advise infiltrating school and community functions where they have better access to young girls for their marketing. Gag me with a spoon.
Blond Ambition
Blond Ambition II
Beauty & Reality
Pink Hair Fiasco
Pink Hair Fiasco Take 2
Meaning of Hair

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