Entries from December 2008 ↓

The other day I sat watching a talk show on “rape prevention.”

“Don’t let your daughter go to Frat parties and get drunk while wearing a short skirt or they will get raped,” was the advice.

And I thought,

Why have I never, not one single time, seen a show or read an article or book about how to avoid turning a boy into a rapist?

That might actually be effective and place responsibility where it belongs – on the rapist.

As it stands, I’m letting my son snuggle so close to me in my bed at night that I can’t sleep. He rolls 360 degrees at least once every two seconds.

He’s 2 and seems to need the physical closeness. Since I have absolutely no scientific evidence or even maternal advice on how to ensure that my son does not grow up with a rapist’s mentality, I don’t send him back to his own bed. What if withholding that snuggle-time is the crucial misstep? I define a rapist’s mentality as a pathological inability to recognize a girl in a skirt, even a drunk girl, as a whole human being worthy of his respect, to be valued as more important than his penis.

It’s not too much to expect from the male gender.

I’m guessing withholding of maternal and paternal love, physical closeness, disallowing or punishing feelings, yanking the doll out of their hands and replacing it with guns, teasing them for crying, and making jokes about their manhood and sexuality – turns some boys into rapists. The less pathological ones just turn into bad dates and worse husbands.

The truth about rape is that rapists and child pornographers would invent turtleneck porn and turtleneck fetishes if we all made our daughters wear turtlenecks to protect them from bad men. We believe its a lot easier to put a girl in a turtleneck (we can make her do it) and hope for the best, than it is to hold men accountable for their pathological and distorted thinking about girls (we have far less control over them), right?

The problem with this strategy is that it’s 100% ineffective.

I’d like to see Dr. Phil or Oprah so a show along these lines:

Prevent Rape – Teach your son not to be a rapist.

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Ding Dong The Bratz are dead!

Barbie killed the whole pack!

Bratz Dolls will no longer be sold after this Christmas season because they infringe on a copyright Barbie (Mattel) happens to own, so sayeth The Court.

Carter Bryant, in typical “mean-girl fashion,” evidently conceptualized the rottin little Bratz while under contract with Mattel and then illegally sold the concept to MGA Entertainment.

Earlier in this cat fight The Bratz was court-ordered to pay Barbie $100 Million in lost sales. Mattel attorneys said MGA made nearly $779 million on the Bratz line since it was introduced in 2001.

In a recent ruling, Judge Stephen G. Larson of the District Court in the Central District of California shut down the whole Bratz line.

The court has ordered recalls from stores, the shattering of molds used to make the hideous little beasts and they are no longer to use the brand name The Bratz.

Who wants to join me in a gleefilled Hallelujah?

There IS a Santa!

Thanks to reader, and lawyer, Jonna for tipping me off on this legal triumph for all girls everywhere!

Maybe for New Year Eve we can get American Girl Dolls to take down Barbie!

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Survey: Teens Sharing Nude Images Online, a clip from The Today Show on a survey released by the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy and Cosmogirl.com reports, “22 percent of all teen girls — and 11 percent of teen girls ages 13-16 years old — say they have electronically sent, or posted online, nude or semi-nude images of themselves.”

“One-third (33 percent) of teen boys and one-quarter (25 percent) of teen girls say they have had nude/semi-nude images — originally meant to be private — shared with them,” the article reports.

Why would girls and boys do this?

I’ll do anything for you. Like me. Please like me! This will make him like me! I’ll do anything to make him love me back! This will really make him love me.

Does that sound familiar to anyone?

Also, it would be ideal if a human being’s sense of consequence developed before age 35. (Maybe that’s just me.)

Thank God there was no Facebook, MySpace or the ability to send photos via cell phone when I was a teen or in my 20s.

R.B. if you’re out there . . . Please tell me you hit delete when you got married.

Sexuality Education should include THIS phenomenon.

Read my So Sexy So Soon series.

10 Steps to Undo Sexualized Childhood

So Sexy So Soon, Sexualized Childhood

So Sexy So Soon: Sex Education Quiz

So Sexy So Soon: Premature Adolescent Rebellion

Support reviews like these by purchasing So Sexy So Soon: The New Sexualized Childhood and What Parents Can Do to Protect Their Kids

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Amy Jussel, executive Director of Shaping Youth included me in her Seven Sisters for All Things Girl series.

She said such nice things about me that it literally made me blush. For some reason I don’t get many comments so it’s really, really validating and affirming to know that there are people out there reading and appreciating my work. (Several readers have told me they are sometimes struck speechless — I choose to take that as a compliment.)

Her Seven Sensational Blogs About Girls also serves as a nice introduction so some of the other Girl, Power Bloggers out there. I think I’ll hope around some of those links, subscribe to some feeds and add them to my blogroll and extend the invitation for them to respond in kind – after all, we have a common interest.

Reign of the Girl Child is preteen specific and its author Felicia Richardson-Battle is also the author of Feel Good Girl.

Girls Horse Club is a blogazine created by girls for girls. If your daughter has an interest in horses and blogging this could be her online home. The girls are coralled by LeadMare, Michelle Bushneff. Yee Haw!

What About Our Daughters by Gina, who appears to share my conviction that the current economic situation is not a surprise if you were paying attention. (It’s awfully political over there, I’m on a political fast.) Gina is also running a Michelle Obama Watch website which highlights the ways in which Michelle is treated by the public and the media. That could get interesting.

I was happy to see my friend Claire Mysko on the list. I’ve written about and given away copies of her book You’re Amazing, A No-Pressure Guide To Being Your Best Self. You will want to check out her site 5 Resolutions to Transform The Fashion and Beauty Industries.

Also my b5media friend and fellow blogger Charlene Polansky’s blog Sports Girls Play is on the list. Char writes about how to raise your daughter to be a fantastic, striving for excellence athlete. Check out this handy printable training journal to help your daughter track athletic goals.
Vanessa Van Petten writes On Youth and Teens Today . She is writing to the net-generation (why didn’t I think of that?) and the Dirt-E Secrets of an Internet Kid an e-book which will tell parents all the really bad stuff to watch out for when monitoring their kids’ Internet usage. (I’m afraid to look.)

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Terry Candee, from GoGo Glue Gun Fun, a mother-daughter bonding experience, send me two of her Quirky Dolls Design-A-Doll Kits from her Etsy store.

We made a “Glamour” Doll together this Saturday. Each set comes with a pre-made 12″ fabric doll and a plentiful amount of supplies and instructions to design about any doll your daughter can imagine. There is a variety of skin colors and fabric selections and themes. No sewing involved, just cutting, glueing and a little pattern tracing.

The retail price is $17, the time spent together designing the doll – priceless.

Ainsley enjoyed the project so much that she declared she will “become a designer because she’s very good at it,” when she grows up.

Most of you know that I have a few issues with some dolls marketed to girls. Bratz and Barbi to name two.

I found this exercise quite interesting. You can’t really say its a “clean slate” because images of dolls, Bratz, Barbies, American Girl, Jaks, etc., are in their face with various forms of marketing all day long.

But, it was intriguing to see watch her make this doll.

She made this doll to be like herself. She referred to aspects of it as “like me,” several times.

Yet, she made some aspects very unlike her present self – yet, still like her inner-authentic self. The long curly hair instead of her current short bob, for instance.

She’s like me in this. I cut my hair, yet think of my authentic self with the long hair I’ve worn most of my life.

She also made her doll quite freckly. Gave it a fantastic hat and blinged it out.

And then there is this:

She gave her doll boobs and a belly button and named it Molley (which also happens to be the name of her very first baby doll. She frequently names dolls Molley).

Buy a Quirky Design-A-Doll Kit for Christmas and learn more about who your daughter is.

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