Entries from July 2009 ↓

There’s a brand new group blog about body image: we are the REAL deal.

We are Body Image Activists.

Fatties, skinnies, and disordered eaters who want every girl to feel beautiful and strong.

Muscle chicks and plus-size fashionistas, yoginis, marathon-runners and mathletes, alpha women, gamma girls, cheerleaders, bookworms, punks, moms, daughters, sisters, and friends.

WE are the collective YOU.

We are united on a single cause.

Cultivating self esteem and positive body image for girls and women.

We don’t agree on all issues, but we respect each others perspective.

We speak our personal truth, and we want to listen to you.

This is the only path to change.

We are masters of talk.

But talk is tired.

Time to utilize our influence.

To reject fashion fantasy land.

And watch the viral spread.

Our opinions  drive change.

Global brands monitor our chatter.

We all know this.

We all see this.

Time to use it.

The Commitment

No more bowing to media pressure — time to put pressure on them.

No more posting about hating our bodies – start loving yourself already.

No more wishing we were someone else – embrace who you are.

Change starts here

Read The Pledge.

Then live it.

-Real Deal Girls

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My daughter is madly attached to her best friend. Madly attached.

The other day her mother offered me her social security number so I can file her on my taxes. That’s how often she is over. She has dinner with us several nights a week, lunch nearly every day. She runs errands with us, goes to the lake with us. The two girls play for hours uninterrupted and are inclusive of Ainsley’s three-year-old brother, Zack.

But the fighting. Frequently, they disagree about something, someone gets her feelings hurt and so the BFF stomps home.

BFF generally returns within the hour. But occasionally BFF doesn’t come back for a day or two. Or does the worst thing ever – goes to play with someone else.

And my daughter cries. Boy, does she cry.

She cries if her friend is mad. She cries if her friend goes home. She cries if her friend plays with someone else. She cries if we go on an errand and her friend doesn’t get to come. She cries if she gets to go to camp and her BFF doesn’t get invited.

Don’t. I. Understand? Her. Whole. Life. Is. Over.

She moved away this week while Ainsley was at camp.

Yes, Honey. I do understand. I was a girl too and my BFFs are still way important to me (Bookclub Friday!).

I was always the one who moved away because my daddy was in the Air Force. How my heart would ache for the soul sisters I lost along the way.

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Surely, you’ve been to Reign of the Girl Child? Today there is a great story about the message to teens and preteens that a Makeover Makes Everything Better. (It’s exactly the same message given to these girls’ moms too isn’t it?) It’s an old tried-and-true message, but now “image consultants” are charging big bucks for the service. Also, I must encourage you to get Felicia Richardson Battle’s book Feel Good Girl!

A very interesting post at Michele & Lexie’s page at the Examiner.com about image consultants for teens and tweens. These consultants charge big bucks (upwards of $500) to essentially give girls the “right” look so they don’t feel like outcasts.

Hmmmm…OK, I completely remember what it feels like to be unsure, uncoordinated, hormonal and frankly a little goofy as a young teen. No one feels completely confident at that age; and kids – especially girls – can be mean as hell if you don’t fit the mold. We’ve all, at some point, been left wishing that we could “just be like everyone else”.

But the idea of using an image consultant to help a kid conform to an ideal rubs me the wrong way. What about individuality? What about being liked for who you are instead of being admired because you’ve got the right label on your blouse or your makeup looks great?

Is image consulting for teens a much needed service or is it just another ploy by marketers to capitalize on natural adolescent insecurity and piggyback on the narrow ideals that are already being pushed on girls… that their real power lies in their looks and their ability to impress others?

This is such an easy answer to the problem. Make them over. Make them fit in…all is well. Oh really? Instead of helping all kids understand the need for individuality and accepting others for what’s inside is it OK to just say “Let’s just make them look great and they’ll be fine.”

Is that right answer for our daughters?

<a href=”http://thegirlrevolution.com/summer-of-link-love/” target=”_blank”><img src=”http://thegirlrevolution.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/link_love.png” alt=”" /></a>

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Marie Wilson of The White House Project is wondering about the children who are watching the way we treat the women who dare stand up and lead.

It’s day three for Sonia Sotomayor (female Hispanic Supreme Court nominee) on the Capitol, and like many of us, I am dismayed by the politics and punditry surrounding the confirmation proceedings. Yet what troubles me most about the negative and sexist remarks is this: our children are watching.

The knowledge we are imparting to girls is this: you may work really hard and make it to the top of your class. You may get distinguished degrees from Princeton and Yale, have a successful career, and even be hand-picked by the President of the United States for the highest court in the land. Yet people on TV will call you “domineering” because you’re an outspoken woman. They will bring up your menstruation and call it “really bad” for the decisions you make. If you’re a woman of color, they may even joke about sending you vacuum cleaners to clean up after meetings. At the very least, you will be asked to cut off the parts of yourself that reflect your race or gender in exchange for a seat at the tables of power.

Read the rest of the story on Marie Wilson: Our Children Are Watching.

The same could be said of Sarah Palin and her relationship with the media, other Republicans and certainly Democrats.

This type of criticism and harassment does make women hesitate before throwing their name in the ring for public office or high profile positions.

That’s tragic, we’re missing out on much-needed feminine leadership.

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So, I’ve been seeing on Facebook that my friend Audrey Borden has a new website, MyGiftedGirl.com.

To be honest I was a little worried that I would have to subject my daughter to an IQ test or they wouldn’t let her play on the website.

Luckily, this is not the case.

However, there were many learning games to be found on My Gifted Girl that Ainsley truly enjoyed. Lots of learning activities that can be catered to your child’s specific interests.

There’s a page for parents to get support for raising their gifted girl(s) and also to allow their own inner-gifted girls shine. There’s even a page for mentors.

Your daughter is gifted and talented in some area. Find that area and encourage her to explore it.

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