Entries from December 2009 ↓

Your Boundaries Deepen Intimacy

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Guest Post by Hillary Rubin, Your Partner in Transformation. Her website is an awesome place to start a yoga practice.

A few months back I went back to my hometown to go through my childhood belongings. It has been years that I have been there. Over the few days I had there I went on a journey inside of my mind and heart. I walked down memory lane reading old journals, looking through pictures, my artwork and other stuff. A friend suggested I burn sage around everything and this was a great help to release and let go. I ended up donating most of it and throwing the rest away keeping about 1% and lightening my load. In the past my tendency was to do too much. I would try to see everybody and throw my energy all over the place forgetting why I went there in the first place.

To help me in my process I set an intention (really important step) – to make peace with my past and a specific part of it. This intention became my boundary that helped me take care of myself in a way I never have before. I discovered a deep intimacy with myself by doing this that words cannot describe. When we talk about boundaries most of us think of other people’s boundaries but for me it includes our personal boundaries, which make a world of difference. This time I stood strong with my promise and was able to flow without explaining myself and honoring myself instead. Each step along the way opened me to a deeper sense of intimacy to my friends, husband and self. There were a few moments of high awkwardness that I was called to be even more sensitive and by taking the moment to breathe and listen it unfolded perfectly. I’ve made peace with this part of my life and know that the ties are cut and am more free than ever to honor myself and those around me.

Boundaries make life and relationships more intimate. Honor yours and those around you!

A few tips to help on your path:

1. Set intentions in your relationships with yourself and others especially when you are moving into states of awkwardness.

2. Listen and observe body language as well as the voice of others when you are interacting. Emails & Texts are tricky!!!!! (many do the opposite of what they say)

3. Check in to see if you are you wanting to please others and disregarding your personal boundaries?

4. Be honest, let those around you understand where you are and let them know its not personal. (reading the four agreements will help here)

5. When you are upset by someone who is not honoring you, see where you are not honoring yourself.

For more about Hillary and to claim your FREE gift join her transformational newsletter where she personally guides you weekly to personal transformation. http://www.hillaryrubin.com.

Hillary Rubin

Global Yoga Authority & Leader of The Wellness Revolution

In 1996 at the height of her career, Hillary Rubin was diagnosed with MS (Multiple Sclerosis). Instead of succumbing to the condition and allowing it to limit her possibilities, she chose to find and use all-natural remedies that led her to be symptom-free and medication-free today.

As a highly respected leader in the health and wellness industry teaching Anusara Yoga ™ and speaking on empowering modalities for optimal health, she travels around the world to inspire people to transform their deepest challenges and illnesses into opportunities to achieve optimal health, happiness, and well-bein.

This was reprinted by permission from Hillary Rubin 2009-2010 ©

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Target Women: 2010

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Law of Receiving

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There’s a spiritual and universal law, The Law of Receiving, that says if you want to attract something – say a tribe of people who want to revolutionize what it means to be a girl around the world through a blog and book titled The Girl Revolution – then you can’t shut the door simultaneously.

You must be open to receiving what you want and accept whatever uncontrollable and unforeseen consequences come with it. That’s where we get the phrase, “be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it.”

Sometimes we shut the door without meaning to and sometimes we do it to protect ourselves from something we fear: criticism, the spotlight, success, failure, public failure, rejection.

I’ve a wonderful friend who has been looking for a job in a new profession. Except she hasn’t updated her resume’s contact information and she’s not sending them to potential employers. Something about it terrifies her. She’s simultaneously blocking what she is attracting. She’s not ready to receive it.

I’ve been simultaneously attracting success and traffic for The Girl Revolution and blocking success and traffic with incorrect deep linking. I fear criticism, success, failure and the spotlight. I work on it.

About a month ago, maybe only a few weeks, I painstakingly recoded all the deep links from my Blogspot blog. Every lousy one of them was wrong when I made the transfer to WordPress. That was almost a year ago. The task seemed too unbearable to do for, like, 9 months. Absurd? Maybe.

Yesterday, I realized I’d inadvertently left an incorrect back-slash on all the deep links I fixed.

One can, absolutely, block the Law of Attraction, with an improper back-slash. And not even know she’s doing it.

I fixed them all yesterday. And hopefully, I’m ready to attract the traffic and success the issues surrounding parenting girls deserve. I believe these issues deserve a lot of attention.

Click on some of my fixed deep links. There are three-and-a-half years of in-depth analysis of girlhood and how we can revolutionize it on The Girl Revolution.

Email me if you come across another problem with the links.

Also, it might be a good idea to look at your own life – as the new year approaches – and see if there are any slammed doors, incorrect back-slashes, outdated resumes or old beliefs that are blocking what you’re trying to attract.

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The Princess and The Frog Review

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I’m torn between wanting to write a full critique of The Princess and The Frog, the way I have for the other films in the Disney Princess Culture. You know, deconstruct the whole thing and look for meaning, obvious and subtle, relate it to the Feminist Promise of Past and today’s Working Mother Reality. I want to at-once say this film was accurate in terms of teaching our daughters to dream and warn poor Tiana that dreams get exhausting and perhaps less fulfilling or important when you throw a baby  or two into the mix.

And seriously, Tiana do. not. marry. a. man. who. does. not. see. the. value. of. an. honest. day’s. work. A spoiled, poor prince playboy? Oh, my goodness. One could an entire doctoral thesis on today’s Hip Hop Pimp culture, current African American demographics and family crisis and the gender/work theme in this film.

But, unlike the rest of the Disney Princess Genre this movie just came out.

I don’t want to ruin it for you or your children. Really, I don’t.

Instead, I’ll say “hurray” for Disney. They finally have an African American Princess in Tiana.

The plot was fun. The story was creative. The themes and romance was appropriate for children. The cast was darling. It was super-colorful and interesting and fun. The film even poked some fun at its own genre with one character insanely obsessed with marrying a prince at any cost. Its setting is in New Orleans, a town with a rich and colorful heritage that could surely use the boost.

Both my son and daughter enjoyed this film equally, and frankly, so did I.

Take your kids to the movies during Christmas break. They don’t make a new Disney Princess movie everyday. As much fun as it is to deconstruct them an, it’s equally fun to go see them and experience them with your kids. Disney Princess films are, after all, an integral narrative to our love stories, for better or worse.

Belle, Battered Codependent

Cinderella Should Have Saved Herself

Ariel, The Little Mute

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Disordered Eating

When I was in college I lived on a pack of cigarettes, a cup or two of coffee and one $1 hamburger a day. I’d go to the grocery store and spend like $20. Ramen and Kool-aid were good choices, because you could get 10 for a $1. That’s 10 meals right there.

“Disordered eating?”

No. I was just broke. I was a “starving student.”

I ain’t that poor anymore, so I ain’t that thin anymore either.

Since that Oprah show about how the developing world’s girls and women really live, I’ve been thinking how anorexia and bulimia and other disordered eating patterns are pretty high brow, upper-class, spoiled problems to have. It’s downright ungrateful. It’s narcissistic. It’s insane.

And Obesity? We’re so prosperous we’ll eat ourselves to death? I don’t even know what to call that in the face of the way the majority of the world lives. What a luxury! Even the poor of our country can become morbidly obese from eating more food than they want or need. You can get fat on our food stamp program.

There are people in the world who are actually starving to death. Lots of them.

Imagine the hours and energy we’ve devoted to diets, weight-loss, treatment centers, support groups, whining and complaining about our images in the mirror in the face of the poverty much of the world faces.

“Disordered Eating” has to be the understatement of the year.

The Mormons do this thing called “Fast Sunday.” The first Sunday out of the month, they fast – go without food – and donate what they would have spent on food for those meals to the hungry. The actual hungry. The ones who might starve to death.

Imagine if all the dieters and “disordered eaters” made this a practice in 2009. If all the dieters and self-loathers and “disordered thinkers” fed someone starving – who would we be then?

When I imagine it, I visualize all the disordered eaters might become spiritually satiated.

The protein in one egg is a nutritious gift for a hungry child, and you could help a hungry family with a starter flock of 10 to 50 chicks. A good hen can lay up to 200 eggs a year — meaning plenty to eat, share or sell. For $20 you can buy a family a flock of chicks.

(Here are some more links if you’re looking for a place to donate).

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