Entries Tagged 'Politics & Legislation' ↓

21 Weeks

I’ve been Pro-Choice since I read Orson Scott Card’s classic Ender’s Game, in which, the government limited the number of children parents could have, based on some sic-fi reason of intelligent selection, only parents who had especially bright children could get a waiver to have a third child who might save the world. I figured if the government could make birth choices — well, then they could control birth choices. China controls birth choices. The United States controls birth choices. I don’t like the idea of that at all. I think parents should make birth choices. Since mothers carry the responsibility of birth, and the primary responsibility of raising said children if dads choose to skip out, then mothers should be allowed to make the choices around the carrying of the child.

So, I’ve been Pro-Choice. I’ve been a supporter of Roe v. Wade. Roe v. Wade holds that the termination of pregnancy is lawful until the viability of the fetus or if the mother’s health is in danger. 

Changing Viability

With current science, the viability of the fetus is changing every day. Meaning, younger and younger babies are living outside of the mother’s womb. More babies are being saved with medical intervention. Michelle Duggar’s 19th baby, Josie, at 25 weeks, weighed only 1 lb. 0.6 oz., and she lived. Not only has she lived, but she’s thriving after the first year of a lot of medical intervention. Premature babies that never would have lived in 1973, when Roe v. Wade became law are living full, meaningful lives.

My perspective has changed from when I read that book as a freshman in college, as a 16-year-old kid. I, now have these little kids, five and nine. They aren’t just “cells,” as I have heard some pro-choice abortion activist try to minimize them as. They are people. It bothers me. They aren’t hypothetical anymore.

A 20th Century Debate in a 21st Century Reality

The debate should be different than it was in 1973. Yet, somehow it’s not. I find this incredibly frustrating.

In 1973, there were hardly any birth control choices that were reliable. Condoms sucked. The birth control pill was like 75% effective. There was no Nuva Ring, no Depo Provera shot, no Norplant, no Ortho Ethra patch.

In 1973, having a baby out of wedlock probably did ruin your life or at least drastically change it. Your parents might kick you out of the house or disown you. They sent you off to relatives to avoid the shame you would bring to the family. You would get kicked out of high school, you might be forced into a terrible marriage. You would likely not go to college. You would likely be doomed to poverty. Certainly there was a terrible social stigma.

Today, I’m in my late 30s and have known lots of girls who have gotten pregnant out of wedlock and it’s been long enough that I’ve seen it play out. Here’s the thing — it hasn’t ruined their lives. . . . I know it’s crazy, right?

In fact, some of these women are the best mothers I know. Some of them married the baby-daddies and have solid marriages and went on to have other children and have careers. Some have been kick-ass single moms. Some had abortions and went on to have other children out of wedlock and went on to be great single moms. Some gave their babies up for adoption and went on to have families. Some had their babies, were single-moms for a time and then married and had more children and normal lives.

Having a child did not ruin their lives. Didn’t ruin one single life. Not their’s, not their baby’s. Isn’t that funny? It turned out to be a total fiction, meant to scare us into not having sex, I guess.

This year two women close to me chose to go through unplanned pregnancies, one very young and one in her 30′s. Several relatives of mine also went through the same experience. It was beautiful to watch how warmly those babies were received into this world. It was wonderful to watch how the mothers were warmly embraced and supported during their pregnancies and after. It was an honor to participate in. Was their road harder? Harder than my own road of witnessing 9/11 in my last month of pregnancy and experiencing devastating postpartum depression with my first planned pregnancy? Maybe. Maybe not. Is their future less bright because of their unmarried status? Maybe. Maybe Not. When I look at their future I have no problem seeing a very bright future in front of any of them. I don’t see a scarring social stigma of unmarried, unplanned pregnancy attached to them anymore. In fact, what I see is motivation, they have been motivated to stop playing childish games and get a move on in their futures, enroll in schools and seek out their futures with ambition and energy that they had not exhibited before.

Need I mention that the President of the United States is the son of a single mother, the product of an unplanned pregnancy? Probably not. Though I do think it’s relevant to the conversation at hand.

The Morning After Pill

But, the real turning point for me has been the invention of the Morning After Pill. With the invention of the Morning After Pill, I simply don’t see the need for most abortions anymore. The Morning After Pill prevents the egg from dropping so no pregnancy can occur. You can use it five days after sex and no pregnancy will occur.

Which means if rape, a date rape, a bad decision, the condom breaks, a drunken episode you wish hadn’t happened, something you don’t quite remember occurs or  you get slipped a roofie, you can take this medication and though grief may be had, babies will not.

See, for me, this should make everyone happy. It’s a brilliant and necessary compromise. This should be legal and available for everyone regardless of age and without parental consent. It should be over-the-counter without a prescription, right next to the condoms on the shelf in Walmart.

The Pro-Lifers have a point. It’s Life. Life is essential. Life is beautiful and lovely and worth protecting. So are women’s choices. So are women’s rights. So are women’s bodies. Sore women’s dignities.

But, the reality is that girls and women will make bad choices sometimes. The reality is that men and boys will violate girls and women sometimes.

There has to be something available for women and girls in these cases. But, that something doesn’t need to extend into the lives of babies. If something happens, women and girls should know . . . they can do something quickly and efficiently.

We can educated them about what needs to be done, so they are ready and they can quickly go to any store and get the Morning After Pill. We should educate about it, like we educate about the use of condoms. Let’s just be done with this 30-year-old unsavory, hostile and embarrassing battle that has run its course and has gotten very, very stale.

Before you think I’m speaking from my Ivory Tower, in my younger years, I assure you there were plenty of times when I woke up and my first thought was, “Oh my God, I made a terrible mistake!” But, I assure you, it was my very first thought. And after a date rape, I did take the Morning After Pill, and it wasn’t pleasant, but it was better than the alternatives.

Hope & Reality 

Will the Morning After Pill resolve every single instance in which every single woman might want to seek an abortion? Of course, I am not that naive. But, I don’t want to keep having an outdated 1973 conversation about abortion given 21st Century medical advances and a lack of social stigma about untraditional pregnancy timelines and circumstances; my tolerance for legal 2nd trimester abortions is gone because I consider them “viable” as defined by the Supreme Court in Roe v. Wade; I no longer believe many of the hypothetical fictions and “justifications” often touted by Pro-Choice advocates are acceptable reasons for getting an abortion; I think we can do a hell of a lot better job educating about birth control methods and providing access to them; we should be making better use of and educating about the Morning After Pill; and I think we should be romanticizing the hell out of adoption as a beautiful option.

Comments Note: You are welcome to leave a comment on this post. However, due to the history of hostility on both sides of this debate I request that comments left follow this form, Agree/And (agree with something in the post, then make your statement as an AND statement rather than a BUT statement). For instance, “I agree that science and medicine has changed the viability of a fetus, and I also feel that the Morning After Pill won’t resolve the issue of mid-life pregnancies in the case of women who . . . “

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Two of my The Girl Revolution posts are in Joanne Bamberger’s wonderfully acclaimed Mothers of Intention, 10 Things I Freaking Love About Sarah Palin and The Work Mothering Cohesiveness of Sarah Palin.

What I love about Mother’s of Intention is that Bamberger has chosen to include posts from women of all political leanings. There are posts from moderate voters, liberal feminist voters, conservative voters and I’m sure you could find a Tea Partier in the mix.

The point of the book is that women are political, have great insights into the political process, have firm opinions on who they want their political leaders to be and what behavior they want them to exhibit, what policies they would like to see on the war, economics and for human welfare and rights.

The book and Bamberger’s research illustrates once and for all that women do not, as previously was assumed, resign their political opinions when they become mothers. Motherhood, instead enhances women’s political activism, giving them something tangible – their children – to fight for in the political arena.

The book is wonderfully written and designed, it’s passionate about who women are and gives women voice. The posts she has chosen to include are insightful, thoughtful and passionate. These women truly are Mothers of Intention.

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Yo Tiger Mother.

This blind allegiance to all authority that Chinese Mothers teach their children is the reason China has fallen to a communist dictatorship. It’s the reason Chinese Mothers, who still live in China (unlike your lucky self and your lucky daughters), don’t experience the most basic of freedoms; deciding for themselves how many children to have, deciding for themselves what kinds of jobs they would like to have. You know, simple stuff that third-generation Chinese Americans might take for granted, the right to make choices.

Americans don’t teach our children blind obedience to authority for an exceptional and logical reason. We enjoy freedom. The freedom that Chinese American immigrants enjoy, didn’t come cheap. It was born of the American tradition of challenging authority. It was born of the American tradition of questioning our own governments. Scientific advancement that Americans have made, is born out of questioning what the teacher had to say about how the world works. Racism ends because children challenge their parents’ way of thinking.

We are who we are, experiencing all of our delicious freedoms, not in-spite of teaching our children to stand up to authority, but because of it.

You’re welcome.

My response to The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

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So, the Paycheck Fairness Act , which “addresses pay disparities between men and women. The bill limits the defense that employers can use to respond to charges of wage discrimination based on sex, among other actions,” (HR.BLR.com) failed by two votes.

Good Riddance, I say.

Because Equal Pay, is not enough to correct 2000 years of financial repression and oppression of girls and women. It’s what we were settling for, thinking it was more achievable than what is really enough. Thinking “fair and equal” would be enough. “Enough” would be that pay disparity swing in the feminine direction. That we use their own rules to flat-out best them.

Every indicator suggests that the woman’s day in the sun is on the horizon, closer than it feels.

In The Rise of the Sheconomy, by Belinda Luscombe, in Time Magazine the statistics point directly to not just mere equality between the sexes in regards to pay, but the surpassing of women’s salaries over men’s.

In October 2009, The U.S. workforce became nearly half female: women held 49.9% of all nonfarm labor jobs and 51.5% of high-paying management and professional positions, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. This is not likely to be a blip. For every two guys who graduate from college or get a higher degree, three women do. This is almost the exact opposite of the graduation ratio that existed when the baby boomers entered college.

And as the U.S. continues its migration from a manufacturing economy to a knowledge-based one, women are poised to snag more jobs. They make up the majority in the workforce in 9 of the 10 occupations the BLS predicts will add the most jobs in the next eight years.

. . . about a third of women outearn their husbands.

Childless women in major-metropolitan areas out-earn male counterparts by 108%. It’s suspected that once these women have children they will narrow the Motherhood Penalties faced by previous generations.

. . . women hold sway over 51.3% of the nation’s private wealth.

“We’re on the brink of a massive power shift, a grinking of the gears of history into a new human condition, [Maddy Dychtwald] writes. “It’s a world where women can, if they choose seize the reins of economic control.”

So, you can keep your measly Paycheck Fairness Act – the bar of Equal Pay is way too low for women now. We’re going to leap over it like a hurdle in a race – a race women are going to win. The American Way is turning in our favor. It’s The Rise of  Sheconomy Baby!

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The Health Care Reform Bill passed the United States Senate yesterday.

This is a great day for girls and all other Americans. They will never lose their insurance. They can’t lose it if they “get” a pre-existing condition. They can’t lose it if their parents get laid off, if they marry the guy who gets laid off, they can’t lose it if they get divorced, they can’t lose it if they, themselves, get laid off.

And neither can we.

To Republicans who were against this bill: I’m sorry you feel that way. Fear seems to be the source of the angst about health care reform. To which I’ll quote the Motto of America: In God We Trust. Then I’ll quote the Bible and say, “Perfect love casts out fear.” I’ll further advise a shift in perspective to one of lack and limited resources to the reality that we’re still the richest nation on the Planet Earth and we live in a Universe of Abundance. We CAN afford it. It’s more efficient. Try to see it. It feels better.

I’ve noticed this about Republicans I know personally: though they say they are against social welfare programs, they seem to be pretty happy about cashing unemployment checks, having their babies on federal and state health care programs if they’re pregnant without insurance (many times on purpose), using public funds for family planning, feeding their kids on WIC and food stamps, filing for social security and medicare and medicaid when they need it. It’s a paradox I have not been able to puzzle out through the entire health care debate. I have no doubt they’ll all find the most beneficial way to use this health care bill too.

As they should.

I have equal faith that insurance companies, pharmaceutical companies and health care providers will find a way to capitalize on this bill as well. It’s who they are and what they do. They’re freaking geniuses at it.

As they should.

Health care should focus on wellness and healing the sick.

I feel confident this Bill makes the best attempt possible  — in our complicated system of checks and balances and “great compromises” – to put the focus back on health, wellness and healing.

Now, if the American Citizens can get their own personal focus on compassion we’ll really be doing well. Perhaps that’s too much to ask of a Bill or a for-profit health care industry. Compassion can only happen in the hearts of Americans. I have faith we can pull that off too. It’s who we are. It’s what we do. We’re freaking geniuses at it.

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