Entries Tagged 'Reviews & Giveaways' ↓

My friend Jenny is the coolest person I know. As a writer I admire her unique ability to turn a phrase. I frequently steal choice catch phrases and claim them as my own. Imitation is the highest form of flattery, so they say. Every time I’m with her I pee myself a little, from laughing, riding mechanical bulls or jumping on trampolines.

She can rock a sundress. She can decorate a home for $1.50 and it looks amazing. When she comes around I swear to God I make sure I look decent because I have to stand next to her hourglass figure in her super-trendy everything she wears. She is weight loss motivation for me.

She’s especially fun to hang out with because we both share a frugal sensibility. We spend as little as possible on some things, in order to afford other, premium things that we really want. For instance, we like to take the kids to do fun stuff for $10 so we can go Glamping (a Jennyism) to Mt. Rushmore, stay in a cabin and let the kids go horseback riding. We pack a picnic so we can buy Macbooks and iPhones. We hit the city pool on special occasions. This is so much more fun than hanging out with someone who wants to spend $100 just to hang.

Our children have grown up together and they mostly love each other. Her life as a mother is vastly harder than mine, with a special needs darling named Lucas who needs 24 hour attention. When we went Glamping last summer I realized just how 24/7 her mothering had to be, just to keep him from wandering off and falling into the lake. And though she’s exhausted much of the time, she’s also so loving with her three boys. Three Boys!

She is the modern-day superwoman, mostly out of necessity, not some manufactured need to impress. She’s an entrepreneur and a fulltime student, in addition to her fulltime single mother gig. Just talking to her about her day-to-day life is exhausting. I’m so amazed and proud of her that she’s pulling it off.

This New Year’s Eve we had a party with our kids. We went to a trampoline park and then went back to her house to Fondu. It was a three course Fondu. Jenny appreciates good cheese, just another thing we share.

When we got there she had set up a photo booth. Because she’s cool like that: finding amazingly cool things to do on Pinterest or super trendy blogs I’ve never even heard of. It was like a real photo booth rental dallas. 

Did I mention that Jenny is Southern? Everytime I hang out with her the voice in my head takes on a comic Southern Drawl and Jenny’s particular coolspeak. It was just like we did a  photo booth rental fort worth . She’s so cool Ainsley will probably choose her to be a bridesmaid and have her do the photo booth for weddings.

I’m lucky to have such wonderful a Sister Wife to share a parallel life. Truth!

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I can still taste the lobster ravioli from this little cafe in Hermosa Beach. I used to go there with a boyfriend. Saffron sauce was the secret ingredient. I used to order lobster ravioli from every restaurant who offered it after that. But, it never measured up to my test bud memory of that lobster ravioli.

The taste of the tomato basil soup and the hot and crunchy fish at Barron’s Cafe in Longview, Texas was also something so imprinted in my taste bud memory as a pure delight that I once begged my wasband to FedEx it overnight.

Isn’t that fun? To have the memory of food. Unless of course it’s 1,000 miles away and you can’t taste it again.

These days with the gluten free diet, which every wellness practioner I’ve seen in the last several years insists I go on though it makes me secretly hate them, I like Mexican food, restaurants las colinas. See, restaurants in las colinas, Mexican food is traditionally made with corn tortillas. This matters. Because substitutes for flower products are not traditionally delicious. Mattitos, frisco tx restaurants, serves up authentically gluten free Mexican food. In fact, all of Texas has delicious Mexican food.

One of the things I’ve decided having sampled vegan food is that substitute food is not delicious. I’ve decided that people who eat alternative diets have one very special skill set and it’s not cooking. Their special skill set is tricking their taste buds into believing that brownies made out of black beans actually taste like brownies. They do not. Nachos made with cashew cheese, does not, in fact, make for delicious nachos. Gluten free bread can’t not even be called bread with a straight face. You utter the word bread in connection with gluten free substitutes and you have automatic liar mouth (that guilty face people make when they are telling an outright lie, you know the face, you’ve seen it on your spouse and your kids.)

Food can be delicious. Food substitutes, not so much. I’m still wrapping my brain around this gluten free business. At least, I can still eat corn chips and salsa.

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So I’m on the way to my grandmother’s funeral in January and I realize something startling: I can’t read the roadsigns.

Over the summer there had been hints that perhaps I might be losing a little bit of my vision. But, I had convinced myself that I was imagining it. Sometimes I felt like I might have sleep in my eyes or something, why else would my vision be blurry? It was too dark to see that sign, or too bright to read that one, or my sunglasses are craptastic and that’s why I’m squinting every time I leave the house.

I have perfect vision, better than 20/20, in fact. That’s what I know is true about me.

And then. I’m driving across the country and I can’t “read” the roadsigns by knowing where I’m at and remembering what the signs say. Because this isn’t my town and I actually need to read the signs in order to get where I’m going and not get into an accident.

Only then do I begin to admit that I might, just maybe, need contacts or glasses. Maybe. I’m not saying I actually DO, but maybe I could at least get a vision exam.

But, then I start pricing the cost of this new healthcare development. I lost my health, dental and vision insurance with last year’s divorce, so I’m extra-conscious about what taking care of myself in a responsible manner actually costs.

Turns out you have to pay for the exam, then the frames, then the sunglass frames, then the lenses which may turn out to be more expensive because you might have an astigmatism or you might need bifocals, then the contacts. It soon becomes apparent that you’re looking at $300-$500 minimum. To see, which only months ago I was doing without any assistance at all. How do you explain that?

I’ve been pricing my options and through recommendations of friends I have considered ordering from 1800Contacts. They now have a mobile app, which makes ordering simple and they offer $5 off the order, plus free shipping, when you use it. In addition to their lower prices on contacts in general, they are offering $10 off an order, plus free shipping for orders over $100.

Beauty Side Note: A few drops of contact lens solution in a tube of mascara extends the life of mascara by months! That’s just a little tip I found on Pinterest that changed my life. Eyes are the window to the soul, after all, they deserve to be accented with good mascara.

*** A special thanks to 1800Contacts for supporting The Girl Revolution with this sponsorship.

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I would love it if you would review Love Distortion: Belle, Battered Codependent and Other Love Stories on Amazon.

It is a collection of blog posts, so if you follow this blog at all, you’ve likely read at least one post.

Also, please buy the book and read it. Books should be read, don’t you think?

If you leave a comment on this post or the TGR Facebook page saying that you left a review I’ll draw two winners and send them a free book! Great bargain huh?

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You remember Kevin and Ericka? The Unofficial The Girl Revolution Teen Romance?

A brief recap: Kevin made an inappropriate comment about Ericka’s curvacious bod. Ericka slapped him back in line. He wrote to The Girl Revolution to find out why Ericka didn’t like her curves. I wrote back, saying maybe Ericka is groovy with her curves – but, didn’t like strange men ogling them and treating her like an object at first meeting. He said he was sorry and asked her out. Ericka agreed to give him a second shot.

They’ve had a wonderful summer dating.

Ericka has since kept in touch. Sending me an email every now and again, giving me updates and asking for advice. I’ve asked her permission, and Kevin’s, to publish some of our conversations for a few reasons.

First, I think you all might have some great advice for them.

Second, I’ve received a few comments from other young men saying they find the stream helpful to their own navigating respect and dating.

Please, leave comments if you have further advice or experience for Kevin and Ericka.

Ericka:

Hi Tracee.  Don’t mean to bug you, just checking in.  It’s always nice to be able to talk to an adult other than my Mom.  Kevin and I are having a great summer, trying to take advantage of the outdoors with swimming, hiking, etc.  We do have lots of fun together.  I want to take things slow.  He gives great foot massages and back rubs  and we have kissed many times but that’s as far as it has gone.   Does it sound like I’m doing the right thing?  Just wanted to make sure.  My friends aren’t as conservative as me when it comes to dating.  I even got teased by my friends the first time I met Kevin.  “I can’t believe you slapped him, you’re such a prude, you really need to lighten up.”  But I was proud of how I handled myself and I think Kevin respected me more for it too, so in the end it all worked out.

Tracee:

Go slow. You’re right to respect yourself. I only know this because I was more like your friends as a teenager and it caused me a great deal of heart-ache. When you’re young, you don’t really understand that your actions and behavior, choices and consequences, will follow you far into adulthood. Most of my regrets showed up when I had a daughter and I realized the high price I paid by being promiscuous. I mean, I would never, ever want my daughter to go through the pain I went through.

One thing that sticks out in my mind is something I recently read in a Christiane Northrop book. She’s a world-class OB/GYN and scholar on women’s wisdom and women’s health. She wrote of a study that shows women have a chemical in their brain called Oxytocin which spikes when they have sex with someone. Anyone. Everyone. When women go through oxytocin withdrawal it is as painful as withdrawal from drugs. She said it can take 2 years to get over it. It chemically alters her brain, her body, her psychic energy – not just her emotions. So imagine having casual sex and having this emotional and physical rollercoaster over and over. That’s not really a fun ride for girls. I know. I rode that ride.

Kevin does seem to respect you. It’s not prudish to guard your body, mind and soul from casual sex and pain.

I thought it wouldn’t matter when I was younger. I thought it was just a game.

Take that advice for what it’s worth Ericka. Know that you make the best decisions for yourself.

Ericka:

Gosh Tracee, I don’t know how to thank you for this.  It must not have been easy for you to share all of that.  We’ll definitely go slow.  I don’t think sex has to be an important part of our relationship.

There is something that’s quite personal that I wanted to ask you about.  If you’re not comfortable with it, that’s ok.  My friends say that Kevin will eventually lose interest if I at least don’t allow him to massage my breasts.  I’m a little nervous about it but maybe they’re right.  If you have any thoughts let me know, if not that’s cool too.  This is all so confusing and tricky.  Life was so much easier before puberty, lol.

Tracee:

Kevin will not lose interest if don’t let him massage your breasts.

Want to know why men don’t calls girls back after sex? It’s not that he doesn’t “respect” her. It’s that he already achieved his goal.

Men are weird. They want you more if you don’t do stuff with them. When he achieves his goal, he makes a new goal. Breasts, down your pants, sex, etc. Then it’s new girl = new goal.

You should do what you’re comfortable with. For your own pleasure. Responsibly – emotionally, mentally, physically – responsible to your own self. Knowing that men are goal-oriented creatures. Not allowing him to achieve his goal right away is how you keep a guy interested and trying. Women and girls get far more attention and affection from men when they DON’T have sex with them. (Because he’s still motivated to achieve his goal.)

How old are you again?

Ericka:

Thanks again Tracee.  To answer your question, I’m 17.  I wouldn’t say Kevin has put a lot of pressure on me, other than me having to push his hands away from my bra area a few times.  He’s never said anything about it.  All of my friends allow their boyfriends to do that, some fully clothed some not, and obviously some of it goes beyond massaging, so I am starting to feel like a nun, lol.  But, I think we’ll keep things right where they are because that’s my comfort level.  Plus, we’re having lots of fun together in many other ways that don’t involve anything sexual.

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