Fit Girl Series – Comparing Children

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My husband and I are sitting in the doctor’s office and we’ve done the math – Ainsley is officially “overweight.” Her BMI is over 19. Not by much, but over.

I’m trying to wrap my brain around how this could happen and what it means.

Like every parent, I’ve compared her to the other children – in her class, at church, in the neighborhood, in our family, on her sports teams – and she’s squarely in the middle.

Of course, I believed if she was in the middle she was “normal,” “average” or “just fine.”

It took several weeks for me to understand that this doesn’t mean my child is at a healthy weight, it only means that the children who are larger than her – about 30% of children she’s around – are just fatter than she is.

She’s officially in the fat category – the larger children, and there are lots of larger children, are fatter.

There’s an obesity epidemic in the country. So, comparing your child to the other children just isn’t an indicator of whether or not your child is at a normal weight. The average is now too big.

Really, it was a hard concept for me to get. It was a hard concept for me to accept. The beauty of DNA is that we usually only see our children as perfect miracles.

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5 comments ↓

#1 Jen on 02.10.09 at 3:17 pm

Gosh, I feel where you are coming from. Jonas, is my only child that is in the red zone. He is built exactly like me. He will way over eat too. I hate to say it, but that is just like me as well. I have struggled with an unhealthy relationship with food my whole life. It’s very painful to watch those habits manifest in your child.

Jen’s last blog post..Meat Is Out of Control

#2 jeanie on 02.11.09 at 6:04 am

My daughter is also on the very upper end of “healthy” and it scares me, trying to keep her within the healthy without crushing her body image.

jeanie’s last blog post..Nothing to say

#3 Fit Girl Series - Friends, Strangers With Candy — The Girl Revolution on 02.11.09 at 7:27 am

[...] ← Fit Girl Series – Comparing Children [...]

#4 Tracee on 02.11.09 at 8:23 am

Well, it is scary Jeannie. If you’re concerned now, you can make changes before it negatively impacts the rest of her life. That’s the good part.

Jen – you are so right.

It comes from us. When Ainsley goes for the popcorn with a primal desire I think, Oh Jeez. What have I done to her.

The change come from us too. When I change my relationship to food and exercise – she sees the change and changes too.

#5 Fit Girl Series: Who’s Body Is It Anyway? — The Girl Revolution on 05.11.09 at 7:03 am

[...] Fit Girl Series: Comparing Children [...]

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