Law of Attraction is propelled by your emotions, which means your emotional state is crucial. Law of Attraction would be a simple matter of wanting something if you didn’t have to contend with your own limiting and untrue beliefs and their accompanying feelings.
Wanting is not enough.
Rather there is a balance between allowing yourself to have less-than-comfortable authentic emotions and keeping your game face on, which you begin to master with enough practice.
Like me, you sometimes get in a funk. I’ve been in one since I got back from Cabo San Lucas. It might have been that Currandera Curse. But, that’s not really what I’ve been thinking about in my funk. I’ve been thinking about an unexpected summer entanglement that I’ve not been able to sort out and make sense of. Why? Because it just doesn’t make any damn sense and the more I try to make it make sense the less sense it appears to make. And I have all of these irrational feelings wrapped up in it. And it feels like it’s about something more than it is, because it is about more than it is. It feels important to my spiritual growth. Something in me got triggered. It’s that something that I need to resolve.
Great, I’m all for using the feelings that come up to elevate my own spiritual growth by dealing with the feelings and giving them ways to resolve and let them go. When things come up for me I seek help from coaches and healers and friends to work through it and be done with it.
During this particular funk I’ve noticed an area of growth in my own emotional fortitude. An ability or an awareness that I can be in more than one emotional place at once. We talked a little bit about this in last week’s newsletter—living in the spiritual paradox.
Turns out I’ve learned that I can be broken up over one man, while flirting shamelessly with a very, very cute man and having a delightful time, as I am being stood up for a date. Incidentally, this is one of the best dates I’ve ever had—saved from an obvious douche bag only to be sitting next to a very attractive guy with an intoxicating laugh and ruffled up dirty blond hair. (Too bad he lives in Austin and was only on a business trip, though I’m kicking myself for not passing him my business card anyway.)
I’ve figured out how to allow myself to feel bewildered by my own feelings while dancing my ass off—in complete lighthearted joy—until 1 a.m., being flirted with by quite a number of men. Two of whom guessed my age at 27 and 32 and three of whom tried to kiss me (I let one of them). What great fun!
I’ve figured out how to grieve a loss and hop on a bike in a $10 little red prom dress and ride with all my Fort Collins peeps in Tour de Fat (thousands of people dressed weirdly and creatively for a bike parade and a festival). I completely enjoyed a fabulous sense of gratitude for the community I live in. I’ve learned how to quiet my own inner Pain Soaking thoughts and quell the sadness with mini-retreats to places like Shambhala Mountain Retreat and dropping into meditation at The Great Stupa. I en-joy every single day that I live in Fort Collins, Colorado—hands down the best place in the world to live.
Gratitude is enough to propel Law of Attraction. Anytime you’re feeling it you are going to get more of what you’re grateful for.
In other words, I’ve learned how to allow myself to feel my feelings, which is huge in and of itself, considering I once thought that allowing myself to feel my pain might actually be the end of me. And I’ve learned to to keep right on feeling joy and happiness and be able to experience lighthearted fun in the midst of other feelings. This is serious progress. I’m in a place where I’m willing to do what’s good for me, regardless of my feelings about it.
Feelings are just feelings. They are legit and you should pay attention to them, but they are also tricksters, change often and they don’t know everything. Feelings are not the boss of me. And they shouldn’t be the boss of you.
I once read in a Martha Beck column that our authentic feelings only last about 45 seconds and then they pass like waves through us. Another wave might be coming, but it too will pass. I have found this to be true. But it’s only true if you don’t resist the authentic emotion.
What you resist persists.
Abraham-Hicks, the Law of Attraction guru(s), tell us that when we feel “negative feelings” the only thing we have to do is reach for a better feeling thought and feel better. Even feeling just a little bit better is healing to our Souls. Even raising our own emotional vibration up a notch with one activity that makes us feel good is movement in the right direction.
Feel better now. That’s it. You don’t have to feel great. You don’t have to be euphoric. You don’t have to be skipping down the street shouting about how happy you are. But if you notice that you’re staying in a place of feeling sad, angry, frustrated, guilty, shamed or anxious for too long it’s time to take a step in another direction. Buy yourself a little bauble that will make you feel good, call up a friend and laugh, go out dancing, get a massage, take a hot bath with a trashy novel, watch your favorite sitcom, masterbate. Don’t resist your bad feeling, but don’t Pain Soak in it either.
Feel better now.
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