Dear TGR: I Hate Being a Ginger! Dear Ginger: Go Blond

Dear TGR,

I’m a red head. I hate my hair — now here’s why.

Kids are cruel. They make fun of the littlest things — like the color of your hair. And you act like you don’t care — but when you get to highschool you really start to care again. It’s not fun when you can blind people because your hair is so shiny — there’s not much fun about being a red head actually …  And then there’s the pale skin that usually comes along with it — and all the freckles. You grow up thinking you’re not pretty. That you’re a freak. And personally I wish that when I have kids — they don’t have my “curse” as I call it. I don’t want them to be “gingers” or “fire crotches.” It’s not fun. I can understand why other girls wouldn’t want to be red. Sometimes I wish that people would notice me for more than just my hair — especially when that’s my least favorite thing about myself. But that’s all people notice. It’s annoying. And guys do like it — but that just means they’re looking at your physical body and not your heart.
I don’t want to be a “Ginger” anymore. In fact I NEVER wanted to be a “ginger”

Rather Be Marianne


Dear Rather Be Marianne, 

I’m going to give it to you straight. This is a problem you have the power to solve through chemicals.

You have a few choices here. You could go Blond or Auburn. Blond will likely be more expensive and require diligent maintenance, Auburn you can achieve by popping into your local drugstore or Walmart and choosing the color that screams your name for under $10. Google images of Nicole Kidman and see all the variations of Strawberry and Blonde and Auburn she’s done and figure out what you’d like to try first, you are free to change your mind at any time.

If you choose Auburn, follow the instructions closely and do the strand test (seriously, I know people who have had their hair fry off, including myself). With Auburn your red roots will grow out nicely and you won’t have to touch them up as often. You can do touchups yourself at home and it will be pretty affordable to maintain with hair color from the drug store. Auburn has a red undertone so, it will compliment your natural skin tones nicely. 

If you choose to go blond, it will be more expensive to have done and require more maintenance because your roots will be more noticeable. Go to a medium-pricey salon. (Do not trust Walmart or Cost Cutters or you will likely beg for your lovely Ginger Mane back.) Tell them you, like Nicole Kidman who was also a natural redhead, now prefer to be a blond. Don’t go Barbie Platinum Blond, ease into it subtly to avoid more teasing. Think about starting with a light Strawberry Blond and remember you can always go lighter or darker after a few weeks if you don’t like the results. Take photos with you to the salon. Try a new cut with your color (the cut is free with a color so you might as well).

Be prepared, for this will be about maintaining blond hair every six to eight weeks — so you’ll need to get a job if you’re parents can’t afford it or aren’t willing to make the sacrifice. A good hair color will run around $60 -$100. Don’t do this yourself the first time. (Maybe after you’ve had great success several times and you feel like you’ve gotten the hang of it you can try touchups yourself.) But, if you hate being a Ginger as much as you say you do — well, I bet you’ll think the cost is worth it.

As to your alabaster skin, try a self-tanner. I recommend TGR Body’s Sun-Kissed Body and Sun-Kissed Face for a natural, organic tan all year long. 

Good Luck to you Rather Be Marianne! Let me know how it goes. 

Tracee, The Girl Revolution

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Solidarity Bush

Grow out your bush in solidarity with your pubescent daughter.

Then you can say, “Everybody gets pubic hair. It’s natural, normal and beautiful.” And mean it.

I was, honestly, so proud of my soft chocolate-and-gold-tinted triangle.

Until a boyfriend mentioned he preferred it groomed another way. Then another boyfriend mentioned he like it groomed further. Then a certain someone said, the Brazillian wax really turned him on.

Oh the pain. The pain! The mother-bleeping pain.

Of course, everyone of those f#$5ers had hairy balls and some even had a hairy back. Which. Is. Not. Hot.

That said, I realize it won’t be the dead of winter forever and that swimwear doesn’t fashionably go to mid-thigh. So, something must be done about the dreaded, nuisance of the bikini line. That day, is coming for my daughter too.

I feel conflicted about this. Should I advise her to go for the chemical acid burn of a hair removal cream, the ingrown hairs and razor burn or just ruin her childhood and adolescence and all her previously romantic notions about femininity by introducing her to genital waxing?

If anyone on this planet has a non-barbaric, non-painful, non-chemical-acid-burn-causing, preferably natural and painless solution to the blasted bikini-line dilemma, please email me. I’m determined to find an agreeable solution for my daughter and yours. I’ll put it on TGR Body.

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Hair Dye & Self Tanner

Ainsley wants to dye her hair blond.

Because it’s pretty.

“I wish I had blond hair like Zack,” she said.

“Well, anyone can have blond hair,” I said. “Or red, pink, brown, black. Any color really. No one is married to their natural hair color anymore.”

Personally, I think hair color is a wonderful technological advancement and the tools just keep getting better and better.

Several years ago I put some highlights in her hair while I was highlighting my own hair.

We’ve also had pink streaks glued in at one point.

It’s fun. It’s pretty.

“I want to get a good tan,” she said.

“I will buy you self tanner if you promise, promise, promise to wear sunscreen everyday, all summer long,” I told her.

“Deal,” she said.

I figure this is a great way for her to establish a good habit, the wearing of sunscreen. They didn’t have self tanners in my day. I worshipped the sun and now I have melasma to show for it. I’d rather she kept her skin nice and healthy and beautiful.

I’m off to the pharmacy to buy some Sun-In and self tanner. We’ll have a make-over party and be perfectly “sun-kissed” by day’s end.

I’ve said “no way” to the leg shaving though. Mostly, because it’s a never-ending battle once you start. It’s a pain and really isn’t fun at all.

What’s your stance on self-tanners and highlights and leg hair?

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Four Generation Makeover

My parents have been in town. Very exciting and fun for all of us.

We went to the best hairdresser in all of East Texas, Crystal, and got a Four Generation Makeover.



My aunt, Janice.


My grandmother, Viola. (I think she looks sooo hip!)


My mom Susie. She’s rocking the Paula Deen look.


Me, Tracee. I can’t thank myself enough for going short and sophisticated. I call this last year, My Year of Good Hair. An artist for a hairdresser changes everything. Self-image, self-esteem, and confidence. What I project out into the world has most assuredly changed – for the better – since my hair grew up.


And of course, Ainsley. Who we treated as “one of the girls” on our Salon Day and shopping trips. She’s just stunning.

Email me and I’ll give you Crystal’s number.

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Controversial Post About Body Hair


Having given this a great deal of thought I’ve come to a fairly significant position on the issue of girls and body grooming.

The Girl Revolution often looks at controversial hairy issues: should you let your daughter color her hair at 7? When should she shave her legs? Would you take an elementary school student to wax her bikini line?

Generally, someone brings up the fact that it’s unfair for girls to have to put so much effort, time and money into their body hair and hygiene. After all, isn’t it just natural? Some girls grow a mustache and uni-brow and plenty of guys are into that.

Okay. I get it. It’s a valid perspective. Grow out the legs, the pits and embrace the au’natural bush. The natural is beautiful. Obviously, it’s how God intended. The beauty industry is distorting beauty.

Still, if I get to pick how we become equals in this hygienic hairy issue . . . I’d prefer to introduce boys and men to tweezers, chemical hair removal creams, nose hair clippers, hot wax, laser hair removal, and a talented colorist.

Bikini Waxing Tweens & Early Puberty

Sniff … Sniff … Tween Spirit?

Blond Ambition II

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