The Beauty of Flawed Parenting

Our job as parents is not to be flawless or perfect.

Our job is to be our incredible, flawed selves with grace and humor so we can teach our children how to fall down and get back up.

Fall down, get back up. Fall down, get back up. Fail, try again. Win, raise the bar. Take risks, be bold, have faith. Practice. Learn. Get better. Try again.

Brush off the knees, wipe away the tears, put our big girl panties on and admit to our daughters, “yeah, I screwed that up, made a huge mistake, tried and failed, but I’m getting up and trying again. That didn’t work, but this next thing might.  It’s worth the risk, I’m better at it this time.”

That’s the human experience. It’s the beauty of it.

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Emotional Osmosis

I talk a lot about emotional osmosis, the idea that feelings are passed down from parent to child, which is how we inherit negative body image, abusive cycles in relationships and similar addictions to our family members. The only cure, of course, is to deal with your internal emotional crap and project positive body image, healthy relationships to people and substances.

I got this in my Daily Quote from Abraham-Hicks Publications and I thought, see I’m not the only one who knows this!

The child is thinking, and receiving vibrational thought from you on the day that he enters your environment. That is the reason that beliefs are transmitted so easily from parent to child, from parent to child, from parent to child. The child is vibrationally receiving your fears, your beliefs, even without your spoken word… If you want to do that which is of greatest value for your child, give thought only to that which you want, and your child will receive only those wanted thoughts.

~ Excerpted from “The Law of Attraction, The Basics of the Teachings of Abraham”

In parenting . . .

It doesn’t matter what you say about your body. It matters only what you feel about your body.

It doesn’t matter what you say you believe about food. It matters how you feel about food (or drugs or sex or alcohol or cigarettes).

It doesn’t matter what you say you believe about men. It matters how you feel about men.

It doesn’t matter what you say you feel about how you are. It matters how you feel about who you are.

Power and freedom is knowing you can control the way you feel.

How you feel always, every time, translates into what you do.

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Obama Budget Includes Family Leave Insurance

The proposed United States Budget, currently before Congress, includes a little-publicized, no-drama, brilliant piece of funding and legislation.

This is brilliant.

This is long overdue.

Currently, in the United States of America many disability insurance programs do not include pregnancy or birth, nor are they legally required to. Never mind that you’re not medically allowed to work for six to twelve weeks due to the fact that you pushed a human out of your vajayjay or the fact that they cut your stomach open to remove a future tax-payer, before sewing it back up. It’s currently legally allowed for employers to say, “too bad for you new mama.

This causes unnecessary plunges into poverty for young families, increases the abortion rate, increases gender wage gaps, and discourages people from having children.

The President’s budget proposes a grant program which would cover the start-up costs if a state decides to start a family leave insurance program.

This empowers girls in two ways – first, their mothers and families benefit now by having mothers who are allowed paid leave to give birth to them, care for them, and bond with them during their first months as Citizens of the United States. Second, we as parents and citizens, acknowledge that many of our daughters will take advantage of family leave insurance programs when they themselves begin having children and taking time off work.

It is our obligation to our children to make it easier for our daughters to pursue both work and family.

Societies that value families and value motherhood provide the necessary support to mothers and families.

To write your legislator to encourage this portion of the bill be included in the final budget please click over to Momsrising.org. It takes two minutes to change the work/life balance of current and future generations of new moms and young families.

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The Girl Cell, Eve Ensler on TED

This TED Talk is worth the 20 minutes. Eve Ensler is amazing. The best part is the end when she monologues from her new book,I Am an Emotional Creature: The Secret Life of Girls Around the World.

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Complaining Adds Up

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Complaining became a big problem in our house when . . . well, since I moved into it.

But, I tried to resolve the issue with the Complaint Free World Bracelet. Which brought to light the fact that nearly every word out of my mouth is a complaint. Certainly nearly every blog is somehow a complaint. We’re too fat. TV and movies are too sexual and violent. Disney Princess Movies aren’t even written by any women – at all, like not even one woman on the writing staff. Sexual predators are stalking children online. Kate Moss must have malfunctioning taste buds. I want to publish a book, but I’m to broke and scared what you’ll think and say about it. Incessant complaining, really. I’m working on it. God is working on it for me.

Do you know what the most annoying thing you can do to a habitual complainer like myself is?

Get a 7- or 8-year-old to follow them around incessantly complaining. For about a year-and-a-half.

I decided to Woman Up and Parent. Oh the hypocrisy of complaining about her complaining was bothering me, sure.

But, hey! I’m the Mom and she’s the kid and seriously, I’m can’t stand to listen to it anymore. So here’s the deal, I told her,

“For every complaint, you’re giving me a quarter. Every time you complain you’re ruining your own life a little. Also, you’re ruining mine. ”

In the first 24 hours she paid me $10.25. That’s over 40 complaints in 24 hrs. and I let a few slide because they were legitimate things I needed to know like Mommy, I stepped on a thumb tack yesterday and now my foot is throbbing and red.

I told her she can earn the money back by not complaining for one single day.

Any better ideas? All are welcome.

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