In Golf Magazine’s self-proclaimed “Greatest Survey Ever,” 21% of men say they could beat Tiger Woods.
Twenty-one percent of male golfers believe they are better than the best golfer in the world. Better than a gifted prodigy.
Do they have to be better golfers than Tiger to believe it? No.
Do they have to prove they are better golfers than Tiger to believe it? No.
They just get to feel awesome about themselves every time they think the thought, “I could beat Tiger because I am an exceptional golfer.”
If golfing is to men what beauty or body image is to women, tell me how many women would you estimate believe they are sexier or more beautiful than Angelina Jolie?(chosen because she received 58% of the vote in a Vanity Fair survey.)
How many girls believe they are better performers, singers or more beautiful than Hannah Montana?
I’m confident the percentage would be nearer to zero than twenty-one.
Who do you think feels better about themselves? The man who thinks the thought, “I could beat Tiger because I’m a great golfer,” or the women who think, “I could never look as beautiful as Angelina Jolie,” or “I’ll never measure up to Hannah Montana” or “I’d be happy if I was just a size 0 like Kate Moss?” The answer is obvious.
Even the most beautiful women in the world are self-deprecating about their own skills, talents, looks, etc. I’ve seen them trash themselves on Oprah. Oprah herself is self-deprecating as hell about her body. If you’re arguably the richest, most powerful woman in the world, shouldn’t you be allowed to feel good about yourself even though you’re rocking a size 16?
Men are not self-deprecating. Perhaps that is why they hold more public office and higher positions in business. Who wants to elect, hire or promote someone who believes the size of their thighs determines their worth, or who believes the other candidate is better looking and more qualified than they are?
Self-deprecation doesn’t serve us. It’s not getting us where we want to go.
The next time you look in the mirror realize you’re making a choice: to self-deprecate or self-appreciate.
Choose the thought that makes you feel good, instead of the thought that makes you feel bad.
Like those delusional golfers, you don’t have to prove you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, but the only person stopping you from feeling like you are is you.
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2 comments ↓
Tracee–as always, you make great points. The only thing that sticks out to me is the fact that the comparison your offering may not be apples to apples–it is between what men can do *with* their bodies and what women can see *about* their bodies.
Last week, I played paintball games w/ a group of teen boys, my husband and BIL. As we were playing, I thought, “Hell, I can kick these boys’ arses”…and I may not have kicked ‘em, but by God, I held my own–I was one of the last standing in two of the six rounds. That afternoon, I was queen of the paintball world–I could have taken on anyone!
My looks (and gender) had me behind the 8-ball at the beginning of the day, but by the end, some of those teens had a newfound respect for the mom who went out running through the fields & woods to take out the other team. At some point my attitude morphed from “Mom who wants to play, too…” to “Serious Contender”.
The feeling was amazing. I think if we spend more time as women focusing on what we can *do* with our bodies instead of how we look, we’d find more confidence within ourselves to be OK with not looking like Angelina Jolie.
Yes.
If women cared more about the fact that their bodies could DO stuff: attract mates, create human beings, dance beautifully, create beautiful meals, create the experience of intimacy and amazing sex, calm babies and cuddle children . . .
instead of obsessing negatively obsessing on a perceived and imaginary flaw . . .
we’d not only feel better about ourselves and like ourselves more . . . we’d be far more effective in doing what we do with our minds and our bodies.
It’s about self-talk, self-love and self-perception.
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