I’m experimenting with something so simple, but so revolutionary.
I’m treating myself the way I want to be treated.
I’ve been kinder to myself lately. I’m going through a major transition in most areas of my life and it has caused me to reflect on why I’ve allowed myself to be treated in ways that I don’t like.
Perhaps it’s because I treat myself in ways I don’t like.
- I’m not very gentle with myself.
- I withhold things – even medication – from myself.
- I don’t treat myself to many things, whether it’s food I enjoy or the lotion that eases my rosatea (until it’s so painful that I finally break down). I “treat” myself to a basic haircut like it’s a serious extravagance.
- I don’t take much time for myself doing the things that make me feel good.
- If I do the tiniest little thing that isn’t in alignment with perfection, I’m very harsh about it.
- I withhold love and approval from myself to manipulate myself into eating right or not engaging in bad habits.
- I am always willing to take the blame for other people’s behavior, believing that I am choosing peace over conflict, when I’m likely just teaching them that I’m okay with being disrespected.
- I short myself on hours in my business, afraid that my client won’t appreciate how much work I’ve done or how much energy I put into it. I undercharge them.
How does this manifest in my life?
- Others are sometimes disrespectful towards me.
- People are harsh or angry with me over the tiniest little things.
- Some withhold love from me, to manipulate me into doing things they want me to do or feel I should do.
- My children sense my allowance for disrespect and they take advantage of it.
- Some clients fail to pay their bills, believing that I don’t value my time or services, so why should they?
I’m over it. I’m completely over allowing disrespect, withholding, manipulation, devaluation and everything else that doesn’t feel good to me.
I’ve always been confused about what forgiveness means, believing that if I forgive someone that means I should continue being in relationship with them.
I don’t believe that anymore. Taking people’s shit is really just disrespecting myself and allowing others to join in the party. I can forgive them and simultaneously kick them out of my experience. I can stand up for myself and demand payment. I can walk away from people and situations without grief or guilt.
So, I’m going to treat myself the way I want to be treated.
My bet is that the world will respond to me in like matter. Because that’s how the Universe works. I can’t wait.